Remind me to never
fly TWA again, ok?: Flight before the
last, we had to make an emergency landing in
Phoenix, AR due to smoke in the cockpit - YES
SMOKE! SMOKE FOR GOODNESS SAKES! SMOKE =
FIRE. This time, we approached JFK and had
such a backlog of flights, we ended up having
to fly to Long Island to refuel. Yes, you
heard correctly - REFUEL! And this isn't even
talking about the little puddle jumper
aircraft they put me on from my hometown to
St. Louis. OY! I prayed to the gods of at
least 4 different religions, plus an
assortment of Saints to just get me off of
that aircraft safely. On my way back, I had
my flight changed once I checked into JFK so
I wouldn't have to endure that horrible
experience again (I flew into my old
hometown, and had my parents drive me to the
other airport to pick up my car). Oh, the
customer ASSOCIATE was so helpful,
informative and cheerful (that was
**sarcasm** for those of you that didn't
catch it). Even when I tried to talk to her
and tell her that I appreciated her working
on this - since I could understand how it
might have been difficult to deal with - she
just sneered at me and never spoke a word.
GACK! I felt like calling her a money
grubbing ho bag. But what good would it have
done me? None, again, I had to just walk away
and take it. What really upsets me the most
is when people will sc*ew you over, and not
care one bit - because they know they can. In
any case, no more TWA for me - I'm sick of
that airline to say the least.
If you have
any good suggestions on a decent airline -
write to me and let me know. I'd like to find
a better airline, but, then again, they
probably all pretty much inhale cow cookies.
Think about it - if you buy airline tickets
(non-refundable) you have to pay extra
charges for changing your plans. Now, this
wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact
that people get bumped out of their flights,
flights get cancelled, flights ARE LATE - yet
over the times I have flown, I never ONCE was
reimbursed for the inconvenience caused to me
by the airline. NOT ONCE! "Oh, we're
sorry for the inconvenience and we thank you
for bearing with us." Hmm, let's see -
I'm stuck in a small seat Kate Moss would be
cramped in, in between two people who have
never heard of DEORDORANT, while we fly in
circles 31,000 ft in the air? NOT LIKE I HAD
A BLOODY CHOICE but to sit there and 'bear'
with you. * No, I'm not bitter - really I'm
not *
Gack!
On to happier notes - I am happy to announce
that Lilith and Shakes placed 1-2
(respectively) in the Female Frag Fest!!
HUZZAH!
In the Q3 official tourney, all 4 QGirlZ who
participated in the FFA qualifiers (Artemis,
Shakes, Trillian, and me) made it to the 1on1
round (64-person single elimination). Artie
and I were unable to win our matches (which
would have put us in the 32-person double
elimination round), however Shakes and
Trillian won in grand style. Trill and Shakes
lost their next matches (Trill actually had
ot play her husband! ACK! Poor guy had to
sleep on the porch that night - j/k), but
were able to win their first Elimination
Bracket matches. Trillian finally fell victim
in her second elimination round match, while
Shakes advanced one more round, only to
finally meet her better. The final 5 winners
of the Q3Test Tourney at GZ were wombat,
gemini, Soujoy, * a guy whose name I wont
even try to spell from memory but it reminded
me of sparticus, only not *, and DieHard. Not
that I know any of these people, just here
for information's sake! Though, about my loss
- it recently came to my attention that the
rate can get reset to 56k, and I do not
believe I checked it before my one on one
match. Hmm, no wonder I couldn’t keep up
with bob! ARGH!
On
other gaming notes, my TNT2/Everquest
problems are still occurring - ugh. I really
enjoy playing this game, but this constant
lockup issue is really getting me quite
pizzered.!! I'm still in the celestial
Disciples guild, with my old Qgirl friend
Luscious1, and some of our old Quake2 friends
(Psylocke, Terrestrial, and Ldykllr) plus a
whole band of hearty folk.
Quake
3 is still a good game - I enjoy it, when I
don't fall victim to the llama virus (the one
that makes you a complete llama-fool who
couldn't hit a broadside of a barn unless it
was on your team?). been practicing when I
can - but I don't seem to have time for it as
much as I should - if I want to work towards
being a 'good' or 'respected' player. I think
I will cut down my usage and focus on Teams,
and not worry about 1on1s - why? Simple, the
1on1 map currently available is about as good
as a searing hot oil enema. Maybe when the
full commercial release comes out - I might
rethink my standing. But for now, I
don’t have the time or the energy to
worry about 1on1s.
I have found a new game
to divvy up my time with - Drakan! Oh, nice
game. The control is a bit unwieldy if you
aren’t used to that Mouselook/3d person
angle. Once you get used to it, it is much
better. What is REALLY outstanding with this
game is its Flight portion. Your character,
Rynn, BONDS with a dragon - that you can hop
on or off of - and you get to have free
dragon rides! This is what makes the game SO
worth the money I put out for it *snicker*.
The Dragon Flight is something that I think
everyone should experience - even if you just
download the demo, try it! But, since it is
such a worthy game, I try to make time for it
(and considering Im'm doing a review of Rynn,
I should find MORE time for it).
It
is hard at times to balance Real life, plus
an EQ life, plus a quake life (not to mention
my work *cough* or lack thereof due to my
laziness *cough* on WoG.com), plus time for
all the other games and graphics software
that I want to learn. You would think I had a
busy life - and I do, but it all seems to be
a 'cyberlife' and not a real one. Maybe I
should rethink some priorities, maybe spend
less time in IRC.
On from there! Well, it
seems I still haven't written the next
chapter of my novel * Big surprise *, but
like I said - I've been busy. I also am
forming a concept for another storyline -
since the new one is a bit more complete
conceptually, I might want to start on it and
finish it first - just to get it out of my
head. * The voices, the voices in my head!
Make them STOP! (A side note: Is it me, or
are the green and red MSWord squiggles just
darn annoying?)
On
an artistic front, I've started a painting
course. I've always wanted to be a decent
painter - to be able to create my own artwork
to proudly display on my walls (instead of
paying 200+ on a measly print at a store -
gack, these people are insane).
On
the home front, I will be picking out the lot
for my new house later this week. I'm pretty
excited about it. I've always wanted a home.
I have so many plans for it. I can't wait
till its finished (and they haven't even
started it yet!)! Well, good things come to
those that wait. Just the thought of curling
up in front of the fireplace with a cup of
cocoa on a winter's night.. or soaking in my
new whirlpool tub just makes me wish that
these people would hurry up and build the
darn thing! Apartment life is heck! I want 3
bedrooms and 2 baths! NOW! * Sigh *
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Religion: During a Dialogue
course this past week, I took a native tongue
test. A native tongue is the style of
dialogue an individual resorts too when
things ‘get rough’. Basically, I
ended up all over the board, landing in both
ends of the spectrum - Silence
(‘Checking out’ of the
conversation) and Violence
(‘strong’ speech bordering on
offensiveness) - and everywhere in between.
Quite odd that I had been taking this course
when I ran across an article on the Gaming
Site known as ‘GameGirlz’ in which
one of the staff had posted a
‘rant’ of sorts regarding
individuals blaming gaming and the internet
(as well as the Demonic imagery of said
games) for the tragedy which occurred in
Littleton, Colorado.
I
mainly agreed with what the individual was
trying to point out - take responsibility for
yourself and stop passing out blame to
external sources. However, in one of the
final lines of the post, I read one (if not
the) most offensive, bigoted comments I have
ever seen - "Look at Catholicism in all
of it’s true cut-throat evil".
One
line. One judgement. One confused catholic.
I
was completely blindsided and decided to
respond to the author expressing the fact
that I felt his comment was unnecessary,
unwarranted and bigoted (considering the
context of the site - who wants to read
"Jews are evil" in a car article -
especially if they ARE Jewish?). What ensued
was an interesting conversation. Basically,
he stand was that All religion was basically
evil, and that Catholic or Protestant - it
was all the same to him. He felt that it was
his first admendment right to say whatever,
whenever and to whomever he pleased. In his
eyes, he could say all catholics were evil if
he wanted to.
I
still feel that the comment should be removed
entirely or moved into an editorial section
and treated as such - his OPINION and not to
be mixed with the legitamite news stories of
the day. I also still feel that the comment
was bigoted - no one can convince me
otherwise. For some individual to single out
one particular minority and paint them as the
source of evil in the world - is wrong and
unjust. And, he only adds to the
misperceptions of today’s church. No,
Roman Catholicism is not Evil. Rome was NOT
evil. Mistakes have been made in the name of
religion and God - Yes. But these mistakes
have been made across the board by every
civilization (secular or not). Singling out
one denomination and STEREOTYPING it as evil
is wrong morally and historically. It goes
against everything that the person had stated
previously in his post. When confronted about
that aspect of his argument the response was
that everyone is hypocritical (I would quote
him more in this piece - but I am writing it
while on vacation and do not have the actual
e-mails in front of me. Maybe I will post the
converstaion in its whole at one point -
maybe not). To me that is like running a
stoplight and when confronted, giving the old
standby answer of "Everyone else is
doing it". Well, everyone else is just
as wrong. If everyone else were commit
suicide, then it is ok - right? [For my
readers wondering where that came from, I am
reminiscing about the black comedy, HEATHERS,
a very interesting and a, dare I say,
‘entertaining’ movie]
I
finally realized just how dangerous the first
amendment and the internet could/can
potentially be. Anyone with an internet
connect can place any type of
‘information’ or dogma in public
view (whether it is true, warranted or
otherwise necessary) without any type of
repercussions. Yes, indeed, he can say
"All catholics are evil" with no
thought of any repercussions - because there
are none. People (as in private citizens) are
perfectly free to state any opinion (whether
slanderous or not) against any other person,
group or organization. This is what is so
powerful about the internet, a single voice
can be heard all around the globe for a
little amount of money and effort - but this
is also what makes it dangerous. Freedom of
Speech is a two-edged sword. It is a given
right - I do not deny that, but I feel that
it can be, and is, abused.
After
mulling over this ‘conversation’
with a friend, I finally came to terms with
what was really bothering me about the whole
situation. What was hurtful was that for the
first time I have met someone who could tell
me, point blank, that he thought I was evil -
without really knowing me - and actually mean
it.
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Littleton: Recently,
a terrible tragedy occurred in a small town
of Colorado. Most everyone in the nation, and
even most of the world, has heard of this
terrible story. Two young men (or maybe the
better term would be boys), planned and
executed a terrible attack upon their high
school - killing 12 other students, a teacher
and themselves. This is all now a part of our
nation's history. No one can change what
happened. No one can 'do anything' to reverse
those terrible events. All that is left is to
bury our dead and wonder why. I agree
that we must try to understand why these boys
would have done such a terrible deed so that
we can guard against it ever happening again.
However, I now believe there are those of us
going completely Overboard. There is a fine
line between living Cautiously, and living in
fear.
Just
this past weekend, I was back home in
Louisville. After discussing the Colorado
situation with someone, they made mention of
a story which occurred at a local high school
in the past week. A teacher at a local school
had given the students an assignment to write
a journal entry regarding their feelings
towards the Littleton tragedy. One of the
students had written that he could understand
where the two boys were coming from. Well
that child, as it stands, is on LONG TERM
suspension from school. One journal entry.
One assignment in which the teacher asked for
a students FEELINGS. Gone. No more school.
Home schooling or must repeat that school
year. Permanent mark on the students records.
Is this quite fair? Some could definitely
argue that it WAS NOT fair. I just assumed
this was an isolated incident, something that
happened at that particular school (it was a
traditional school - which is a special type
of school in my old school system - Jefferson
County Public Schools [coincidence?]) and I
hoped that the parents of that child would
fight to get him back in school.
Then,
this morning, I received an e-mail from a
friend (QGz|Trillian to be specific) with a
URL containing an article regarding the
Littleton incident and the effects upon those
which are considered ODD, strange, or just
different from the given norm. I was
completely ASTOUNDED at the e-mails from
individuals who have said that they have been
under extreme scrutiny since the incident.
Children have lost their Internet privileges,
their computers, been searched for wearing
trenchcoats (which is COMPLETELY absurd since
many of the kids I went to high school wore
trench coats and that was years before, ok
maybe not YEARS - but you get the drift,
anyone ever HEARD of Littleton, Colorado) and
harrassed by other students even more because
they are different than the norm? One student
was told, "here was a chance for me to
re-invent myself, be more popular, to
'mainstream.' " WHAT? He was
given a CHANCE to be mainstream? When
did being mainstream become a goal in life?
Whatever happened to encouraging children to
be themselves and to be tolerant and loving
of all peoples and cultures? Whatever
happened to teaching our children NOT to
judge a person on the basis of their
clothing, job, social status, etc? Why are
parents receiving notes from schools asking
them to talk to their children about
reporting 'behavior out of the norm'? Whose norm?
So just because I am a female engineer who
plays computer/video games, loves to paint
(both on canvas and figurines), sew, play
softball/baseball and reads fantasy sci-fi
books, I should be considered weird because
my lifestyle puts me in a small subset of
society? Because the majority of women do not
share the same interests that I do, I should
be reported for unusual behavior? Well I say,
"PFFFFT"
Why
are people blaming clothing styles, TV,
movies, music, and games for what these two
boys did? I ended up in a Message Board
discussion not too long after the incident,
and the other individual made reference to
the fact that in a previous post I had left
out the role Nazism played in this whole
situation. I do not feel that Nazism itself
is the issue. The issue is what would turn
these children into hate mongers. The issue
is what would turn two young boys into
cold-hearted killers. The issue is why didn't
anyone know this was about to happen? The
issue is why doesn't anyone seem to realize
what type of hell high school becomes for
some kids? The issue is why are we teaching
our children the WRONG values? The issue is
why do we always seem to bandage problems
instead of heading to the source? I have
played computer games since I was a child. I
grew up into a self-sufficient happy
individual with a multitude of interests
(thought EverQuest seems to be my main focus
as of late, but I digress). I played AD&D
as a child. I am perfectly normal, from my
point of view. Others seem to think I am
different, but that does NOT make me any less
a decent human being who participates in
fundraising and volunteer opportunities for
those less fortunate. I am not a criminal and
do not suffer from homicidal tendencies. I
listen to Alternative music off and on. I
haven't pulled a Kurt Colbain! The music does
not say anything that teenagers have not, or
do not already feel (isolation and being
misunderstood at times)!
If
society wants to 'help' our children, let us
start by teaching them respect for themselves
and others. Let us teach them that it is ok
to be different, and let us teach them that
it is ok for others to be different. Let us
stop the witch hunting of those kids who need
to be helped the most. Let us not drive the
children who are criticized and excluded the
most into a greater isolation. LET US STOP
THE MADNESS! Go to the source! Stop candy
coating and trying to find the EASY way out!
THERE IS NO EASY WAY OUT! CHILDREN ARE MEANT
TO BE LOVED, NOT CONTROLLED AND MANIPULATED
INTO WHAT WE WANT!
In
my honest opinion, as a non-parent, my advice
on helping our nation's children is this -
Raise a child to eventually leave and love
them as if they never will.
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Death: Quite
recently, there seems to be a lot of dying
lately. I know death is a part of life. The
one constant in life is that it doesn't last.
Eventually we all die - regardless of
accomplishments, religious standing,
political affiliation, social status, or
sexual orientation. However, sometimes I have
to wonder not at the why but the when and how
of death. I have always been taught that
there is a time and a place for everything -
and that everything happens for a reason. So,
when someone I know dies, I always try to
think of the reason. At times it is quite
easy - some among us live to ripe old ages
and are beset with ailments which cause great
pain and hardship that reduce lives to lying
in a hospital bed. At times, death can be a
friend - an end (which some regard as a new
beginning to a new life - whether one
believes in life beyond the grave, or
reincarnation). Most of the time, however, I
can find no reason.
Every
day, I can open the newspaper and read
stories that would defy the imagination. A
man murdered, due to the color skin, by being
dragged behind a truck until he was ripped
apart. Bombs killing and/or maiming many
innocents in major cities all in the name of
a seemingly kind and just god or in
retaliation for a seemingly unjust
government. Young children opening fire on
schoolmates. Children dying of cancer,
juvenile Diabetes, heart defects, and abuse.
Mothers and fathers dying due to natural or
unnatural causes (no matter what the child's
age is - no one can ever tell me that they
are ever ready to lose a parent). I just
can't find the reasoning or the purpose.
Then, there is the flip side.
I
see people in my own life and wonder -
"Why haven't they died yet?" I do
not mean that in a mean or sadistic way. I
see people who are broken, tired and in pain.
I see people who no longer have any type of
mental capacity. Yet they live, shells of the
persons they once were. Why hasn't God ended
their pain and suffering? Is it some type of
cruel punishment for past afflictions? At
times I rack my head at these things..
wondering.. But, I always come back to a
particular situation which happened in my
high school Years. One of my teachers, who
had just lost his only granddaughter due to
heart ailments (the child was still quite
young.. still a toddler, if memory serves). A
statement was made to the affect that,
"We are only human - not God. Who are we
to understand what He does." I guess for
those of a religious background (Christian -
I can't speak for those of any other
background but I doubt most would disagree),
would most likely agree. We are only human.
We are only temporary. We are only made in
the image of God. We are not god's ourselves
(though some of us would like to think that
they were). We have to learn, accept, forgive
and move on with our lives the best we can -
never knowing the answers until the time of
our own passing.
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Science: I've
always been a bit too opinionated for my own
good, it's just that now, after a few years
of maturation, I am beginning to express my
thoughts and feelings (instead of just
sitting like a moron). It isn't that I hate
the World. I don't hate men. I don't hate
morons (ok maybe little at times). I just
find myself needing an outlet. I may hear
something on the radio, read something in the
newspaper or internet, learn something from a
nice chat with a friend (or perfect stranger)
that I feel is completely stupid.
For instance, I was browsing Yahoo News (The
Science section) and I ran across an article
of certain interest, Experiments
Shows Life May Have Come From Space. Ok, first off, Earth
is a celestial body floating around a firey
gas celestial object which is also floating
around space. If life DIDN'T come from space
particles, where did it come from? QVC?!
As my dad would say, "YOU BIG
DUMMY!" So, now you understand why I
need a place to vent. If I didn't have a
forum, I would probably explode into a
bazillion pieces. I know how cool that would
be to some of you, but I doubt the custodial
staff would appreciate the extra work.
I
will add more as time moves on. I thought
about doing a little number regarding the
Clinton Impeachment deal, but I have already
been traumatized enough by the whole mess. I
will never, ever, be able to look at cigars
the same way again =\
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Rants:
I am not a freaking
figurehead or token chick.. DOES
EVERYONE UNDERSTAND THAT!
Grrr............
I am not your mother, so
don't expect me to clean up after
you.
Just because I have
breasts does not mean I am a complete
invalid unable to complete such
menial tasks as moving my own damn
monitor around on my desk. I am also,
perfectly darn able to speak for
myself. I do not need anyone else to
speak for me. If I don't speak up,
well, that is because it is not a
major deal with me, or I don't figure
that it is an appropriate time to
bring up said matters.
People, learn how to use
your turn signals, they come standard
with every car. Trust me.
Just because I am
female, single, and online, does not
mean I am your very own personal
CYBER-DATE. Understood?
I have mind, I have
ideas, I have hopes, dreams and
aspirations. I am not, and will not
mold myself into your ideals of what
a woman should be. I will no
longer judge myself based on your
rules of femininity. I am a woman, so
who else would know as much as I on
the subject? Not anyone with a penis,
I assure you.
I am perfectly able to
have a wonderful, fruitful,
fulfilling life without being attached
to anyone else.
In other words, I can be
happy without a *gasp* MAN!
No I am not a militant
feminist, I am a realistic one.
Now go take out the
trash!
