Humor:
Top 10 Hints That a Woman Spends
Too Much Time Online/Playing Quake:
10) Your Significant other's initials are PC.
9) You find yourself having the urge to make emoticons while
conducting a converstaion.
8) You consider a car accident to be a form of telefrag.
7) You secretly wish Rocket Launchers came in a
nifty compact purse size.
6) You judge a guy based on his PL.
5) You judge a guy based on his Ping.
4) You secretly wish those Scottish scientists would clone
something more useful than sheep, like Thresh.
3) You know more emoticons than there are letters in Kanji.
2) You try to Rocket Jump up to your second floor apartment.
1) You have had more ISPs than Boyfriends.
Lady: AAAAAIIIIII
Alien: asikuuuusimee
meewannanodeeracshuns
Lady: Why aren't you a
crazy loookin critter! WHat's your name?
Alien: ima sironlo,
meeewannnderachshuns.. gootoo ceenutaaari
Lady: ME LU-ANN.. CAN
YOU SAY LU-ANN? WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
Alien: ima sironlo,
mewaanna gootoo ceenutari..
Lu-ann: WELCOME FROM
THE PPL OF EARTH.. WE MEAN YOU NO HARM. DO
YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU TO MY LEADER? THE
LEADER OF MY FLOCK IS PASTER GREENE. CAN YOU
SAY P-A-S-T-O-R G-R-E-E-N-E? DO YOU HAVE
JESUS ON YOUR PLANET? HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED?
Alien: lizonu
tummasslidy, ima sironlo, iwaana derachshuns
Luann: Oh bless your
little ET soul. You don't have jesus on your
planet do you? Don't worry, little feller.
I'll take you to Pastor and he'll fix you up
real good..
Marcrax: Sironlo, what
took you so long?
Sironlo: I got cornered
by some earth female.. she took me to a male
earthling and they kept yelling praises to
some god of theirs and that jerk-off male
kept dumping di-hydrogen oxide on my head.
Marcrax: I told you
this was a bad place to stop and ask for
directions.
CWJeopardy:
[Announcer]: This is
QUAKPARDY! Our first contestant is Bambi (CW
mod/skin) Bambi enjoys long walks on the
beach, fondling herself, and moaning for no
apparent reason. Today's second contestant is
Mary [athena skin] Mary is an AstroPhysicsist
from Nasa who enjoys Tolstoy, Mozart, and
helping under priveledged children in her
spare time. Our Next and last contestant, Amy
[Athena Skin], is a vetrenarian and
participates on the US women's olympic soccer
team in her spare time. Now, here's our
Host.. Alex TreJohn..
[Alex]:Thanks, Ron, and
welcome everyone to Quakpardy. and Good Luck
to all of our participants.. Are we ready to
start the first round? Alright, since you won
the uhh toss backstage Bambi why don't you
pick the first category?
Bambi: Sure Alan..
Alex: Thats Alex..
Bambi: hehehe
whatever.. alan, alex.. I would like Capitols
for 100, please Aaron..
Alex: It's the capitol
of the United States..
Alex: Bambi? Bambi:
Uhmm Capitol City?
Alex: Judges? Correct!
Choose again, Bambi.
Mary: HEY! Wait a
MINUTE! The capitol of the US isn't named
Capitol City!? And she didn't even phrase it
in the form of a QUESTION!?
Alex: I would like to
remind the contestants and the viewing
audience that the decisions made by the
judges are final.
Mary: !?!
Bambi: Alex, What
category should I pick? I was so rudely
interrupted that I forgot where I am ..
Alex: Fruits for 300
looks good
Bambi: Ok Alex, I would
like Fruits for 300..
Alex: You found the
DailyDosage!
Amy: HEY Thats
cheating!
Alex: Judges? Is that
cheating? Alright, the judges' rulings are
final..
Mary: BUT?!
Alex : It is a member
of the nightshade family that is often
considered more of a vegatable than a fruit.
Bambi : What is an
apple?
Alex: Close enough...!
Pick again..
Bambi: I would like
Capitols for 500 Arliss.. Alex: Its the
largest capitol..
Bambi: Hmm what is
Capital 'W'?
Alex : CORRECT AGAIN,
BAMBI!
Mary and Amy: WTF?
Top Ten Reasons Why Humans
Aren't (And Shouldn't be) God:
