Paul Gadzikowski


A brief chronology of T*R*E*K

At the beginning of the Enterprise's five-year mission, Hawkeye is chief helmsman and chief of security (he wears a yellow command-branch uniform shirt). Trapper John is chief engineer, Henry Blake is captain, and Hot Lips is chief surgeon. Srank [Frank Burns], a full-blooded Vulcan, is science officer and XO. Radar, half-Vulcan on his mother's side, is a junior communications officer and captain's yeoman. Klinger is a navigator and Father Mulcahy is a nurse and ship's chaplain. Hot Lips and Srank first seduce each other while they're under the influence of the Psi 2000 virus. The crew first meet the Klingon captain Klagg [Colonel Flagg] at Organia. Hawkeye is nearly killed by Srank at Srank's kal-if-fee.

Henry Blake dies and Trapper John leaves Starfleet; B.J. comes onto the Enterprise as the new chief engineer, and Sherman Potter as the new captain. While Radar's mother the Vulcan ambassador is aboard the Enterprise, he makes up with her for his having chosen the human way as a boy. Klagg is involved in the Klingon attempt to sabotage the Federation's triticale shipment for Sherman's Planet.

Srank leaves Starfleet to return to Vulcan; Tharlss [Charles Winchester] is the Andorian replacement science officer. Klagg helps the crew defeat a manipulative energy creature. Radar travels into his own past to unravel a temporal paradox.

For two years after the five-year mission Hawkeye serves as the Enterprise XO - while Admiral Potter serves at Starfleet Ops - then talks his way into the captaincy with the V'Ger crisis. Trapper John, Admiral Potter and Srank join the mission - Trapper John (reluctantly) to help B.J. with the new engines, Potter attempting to usurp command of the mission, and Srank believing (after having failed Kolinahr) that V'Ger may hold his answers.

At the time of the Battle of Mutara Hawkeye is captain of the training-vessel Enterprise, Potter is commandant of Starfleet Academy, and Tharlss and Klinger serve on Reliant (Trapper John and Srank appear to have moved on from Starfleet again). In the battle Radar dies in the Enterprise engine room.

During the Genesis crisis Admiral Potter is promoted to commander, Starfleet and Hawkeye to admiral. Srank - now a Vulcan diplomat - appraises Hawkeye of the katra discipline; Radar is rescued - but the Enterprise lost - in the battle of Genesis.

In the wake of the alien probe incident Hawkeye is demoted back to captain and placed in command of the Enterprise-A.

By the Khitomer conference most of the Enterprise-prime alumni are ready to retire, but Klinger and Father Mulcahy have joined Admiral Potter who has kicked himself downstairs to command Excelsior.

Hawkeye, Trapper John and B.J. are on hand at the christening of the Enterprise-B. Hawkeye disappears into the Nexus and is believed dead.

In the 24th century, shortly after its commission Hot Lips inspects the Enterprise-D, Captain John Francis Xavier McIntyre Jr. commanding; Commander G. Alonso Gates, XO [Trapper John and Gonzo of TRAPPER JOHN M.D.]. Trapper John Jr. meets Srank at Legara, Radar on Romulus, B.J. on recovery of the USS Jenolen, and Hawkeye on Veridian III. A transcendant Traveler assists J.T. (John III) McIntyre to find his true path, which is to become Enterprise XO when Gonzo finally accepts his own command.

Lt. Jennia Marl [Jennifer of WKRP IN CINCINNATI], Trill science officer of DS9 at Bajor, assists Klagg in vengeance on their mutual adversary the Albino, and with the matter of the Sword of Kahless. She, Captain Carlson, and the crew of the Defiant travel back in time to space station K-7 to rescue Hawkeye and the Enterprise from a time-traveling nemesis. In the wake of the destruction of the Enterprise-D, the human-raised Klingon officer Brank [Gloria "Ripples" Brancusi, TRAPPER JOHN M.D.] transfers to DS9 and gets Klagg a space berth in the Klingon fleet for the Dominion War.

Captain Mary Richards [THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW] of the stranded USS Voyager meets Admiral Potter and the crew of the Excelsior - after a fashion - in a mind meld with her Vulcan security officer Lt. Sillyph [Phyllis Lindstrom].

In the twenty-second century, Captain Barney Miller commands Earth's first exploratory warpship, Enterprise NX-01. His chief engineer is Commander Wojehowicz; his chief surgeon the alien Dr. Phlish; his first officer the Vulcan T'Peth.
I consider T*R*E*K a puzzle with no right or wrong answers, just some answers that work better than others. Any of the above is subject to change without notice; though much of it and more besides (currently housed in a database in an Excel spreadsheet) is in fact revision and has stood the test of time. For some people, even the question doesn't work - "But STAR TREK's main characters are their unit's high-rankers, and M*A*S*H's aren't," they say; or, "But STAR TREK's characters are career officers, and M*A*S*H's are reluctant draftees." Judging, however, from what responses I've had (which I flatter myself are only the tip of an iceberg) to postings on the net, my answers work for many more people than just me. For the two groups of characters are quite similar, fundamentally, where it counts: both starship captains and MASH surgeons spend their careers cheating death.

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