Paul Gadzikowski
scarfman@iglou.com
The Return of Archy the Cockroach
Archy reads Heinlein
boss i ve been eating my
way through your collection
of the later works of
robert a heinlein
this is what s come out
as follows
the old man woke up and dug out of his pile of wives
and went to talk at his naive young friend named michael
said michael what is the defining characteristic of
being human
son said the old man the defining characteristic of
being human is sex you don t know this yet as you were
raised by robot wolves on a desert planet
but you will know you are human when you not only want
sex all the time but are popular enough to get it
after two more hours of one sided conversation
the old man lent michael his wives knowing damn
well that once they had taught him sex he would recruit
more wives for them both the old man was sitting in his
entertainment center when a vonda mcintyre protagonist
kidnapped him for reasons he could not comprehend and
marooned him on a planet of melancholy aliens shaped very
like a whale from which he could not escape within a
week he exploded teaching the aliens some important
lesson or other
boss i think it
would be nice
if sex was the
same thing to everyone in
the universe as
heinlein believed it
ought to be
open parentheses
even if that thing
isn t the same thing
as it was
to heinlein
close parentheses
but i fear that this
isn t the case yours
platonically
archy
Email Paul
Back to Archy
index
Back to Paul's main index