Tip for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a
headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two... and
Keep Away From
The Children!
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can
take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did
not extend to God's kids.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve... And
the first thing he said was, "Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.
Adam replied again, "Forbidden fruit?" "We got forbidden fruit?"
Adam hollered and said, "Hey, Eve... we got forbidden fruit!"
"No way!" said Eve. "Way!" said Adam.
"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?" they both asked in unison.
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God (wondering
why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants).
A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and
He was angry!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh, " Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno." Eve answered.
"She started it!" Adam said. "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that
Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern
was set and it has never changed.
~ Author unknown ~
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk
and talk... then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and
shut-up.
Grandchildren are God's reward to you for not killing your children.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you... in fact, they usually repeat word for word what
you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there
are children more awful than your own.
Be nice to your kids. Someday, they'll choose your nursing home.
