DC Bi and Lesbian Married Women Rainbow Heart Graphic

Welcome to the home page for D.C. Bi and Lesbian Married Women, formerly a subgroup of Bi Network D.C. (BNDC)! We meet, usually on a monthly basis, to socialize and share our experiences as married Bi women and Lesbians in a supportive environment. Please note: DCBLMW is not a swingers' group or a group for couples looking to meet Bi women. All DCBLMW events are women-only unless otherwise noted.
Subscribe to our mailing list! As always, this is a women-only list -- the moderator must approve your joining. Join Yahoo group graphic
Subscribe to BLMW
Rainbow Heart graphic by John Carlisle

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When do you meet next?

Activities are often suggested spontaneously online, so you might want to consider joining the BLMW list at the link above to participate.

Hi, we are still meeting every month, but ask you to join the Yahoo group above to stay current on upcoming events.

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In case you're wondering . . .

Question mark graphic Who can come to the meetings?

Women of any marital status (including transgendered women) are welcome so long as they respect that the purpose of the group is to provide support and social space to Bi women and Lesbians who are in or are contemplating a committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Limiting the group to legally married women would be difficult and impractical. Some women may be in the process of deciding whether they want to remain married, and it would go against the whole purpose of the group, support, to bar them once their marriages were dissolved. Some women may be in quasi-marital situations that present the same issues as those faced by legally married queer women. We would also be excluding Bi and Lesbian women who might have never had a relationship with a man who want to hear the experiences of women who have made that choice.


Question mark graphic What do you talk about?

Anything we want to. We're a social group, but we hope women can find support from the experience of the other women there.


Question mark graphic If BLMW was started as part of a Bi group, why do you make a point of including Lesbians? Why would a Lesbian be married?

There are almost as many reasons why a Lesbian-identified woman could be married to a man as there are Lesbian-identified women who get married. Marriage of convenience is an obvious example. Some women realize that they are Lesbians after they marry, but there may be compelling reasons not to break up the marriage. They may need to consider their children. Or they may have emotional and financial bonds to their husbands, despite their lack of sexual interest, that make them decide they don't want to divorce.

Also, Lesbian-identified women who enter relationships with men often find themselves outcasts from the Lesbian community. Adopting the label "Bi" can be hard for women whose emotional ties are to a subculture in which bisexuality is still widely stigmatized. And some women who feel very emotionally centered in the women's community may never feel comfortable identifying as bisexual. BLMW provides a supportive environment for queer married women, regardless of how they choose to identify. (That being said, it is not OK to be disrespectful toward bisexuality at events or on our mailing list.)

Whether a woman is Bi or Lesbian, living what appears to most of society to be a "heterosexual lifestyle" can be an isolating and disorienting experience. Connecting with other Bi women and Lesbians helps us to reaffirm our identities and meet other women who understand our choices -- and work toward decisions about our families that are loving and ethical. Incidentally, Gay married men in the D.C. area have had their own organization for a number of years.


Question mark graphic I'm a married man, and my wife has told me she's Bi or Lesbian, and I need support. Where can I go for help?

Consider visiting the Straight Spouse Network Web page. This group has many resources for people who have learned their spouses are Gay or Bi.


Question mark graphic Where can I get more information about the group?

You can get more information about the group and directions to the event by writing dcblmw@yahoo.com (inquiries from men or women seeking swinging partners will not be answered) We look forward to seeing you!

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Page last updated December 29, 2014