THE FULL MONTY
Mark Kinney  12 August 2001
sort of to the tune of "Mick McGuire" (although the Pogues' "Boat Train" also works)

My name it's not important but I'll quickly tell to you
Of an incident from a namless con goin' back a year or two
The year that the Full Monty was such a great big hit
A guy at our room party did boogie down and strip
	The ladies did react so wild
	It really was so odd
	But he got a good reaction
	That I'll swear to any ghod
	You Can Keep Your Hat On
	Was the tune to which he danced
	To all the young ladies' delight
	From the soundtrack of the Full Monty

The following year, now listen here,  is where all hell broke loose
The room party was fizzling out, we were running out of juice
My college friend, the Breath of Death, he gets on such a trip
And tells one of our female guests he thinks that he could strip
	If you're serious, she said
	Then stand up on the bed
	We'll put a song in the boom box
	Conducive to this thread
	She started up The Stripper
	As he wailed and thrashed around
	The music we played, I don't have to say
	From the soundtrack of the Full Monty

Though drunk he was successful gettin' the shirt over his head
But his ankles tangled in his shorts and he tumbled from the bed
The few guests we had left, they all ran screaming from the room
We could tell it'd gone to hell and that this was our doom
	He ran out on the balcony
	Dressed only in his skin
	Yelling AC/DC's Big Balls
	Had nothing on him
	Next year for the room party
	My friends made me DJ
	Saying sit in the chair and never you dare
	Play anything from the Full Monty