PERPETUAL STUPIDITY MACHINE
Mark Kinney  
5 September 2001
to the tune of the "Slinky" jingle, but use two stanzas per verse

Sitting in Murray's
Down in Bowling Green
Just killing time, hanging around.
Ray was there
Just being himself
When he suddenly gets a notion
He grabs a napkin
Fev'rishly draws
We're wondering what he's found
What's in his brain? 
Then he proclaims
He's invented perpetual motion!

CHORUS
It's Motion!
It's Motion!
It's motion perpetual
It's Motion!
It's Motion!
Shut up, Ray, it's bull.

Scientists tried
But never managed
But Ray found the Holy Grail?
Hook a batt'ry
To a generator
He told us with great emotion
The generator
Charges the batt'ry
Which powers the generator
We didn't have
The heart to tell him
That's not even really motion

CHORUS

A basic lesson
In Newton's Physics
Should let us all know for sure
Friction alone
Always drags down
All variants of this notion
Increasing energy
That's what you need
To make all of this endure
Assuming the moving parts
Don't break down
Only then is it unending motion

CHORUS